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Pre-Nuptial Agreements and Divorce

Sue Taylor
 
There are definite advantages in having a pre-nuptial agreement in place, particularly if one of the partners is already very wealthy and has earned that money without the help of their fiancée. It can also be protection if one of the partners comes from a wealthy family and divorce could harm the family fortune.
If you are totally honest from the start, have planned ahead and are able to convey that the one you love will be provided with a comfortable lifestyle, the issue of a pre-nuptial agreement should not come as a shock
Although a pre-nuptial agreement is definitely a sensible option in some circumstances, it is worth considering the emotional cost. Imagine from your partner's point of view, you are in love and without warning your partner asks you to sign a contract stating what you will or won't get out of the marriage in the case of divorce. In many cases, there will be feelings of hurt, betrayal and perhaps a sense of being unworthy. If you have been honest from the beginning, there should not be this sense of shock and hurt.
Is this a good way to start a successful marriage? Well possibly not. However the fact remains that it can be important, for many reasons, for the wealthy partner to protect their assets. There is also the unfortunate reality that there are a lot of gold diggers out there and harsh as it may sound, a pre-nuptial agreement can be a good way of determining whether your partner wants to marry you or your wealth.
The issue is how to bring up the idea of a pre-nuptial agreement without harming your relationship. You will need to explain that either you or your family, have been very successful in the past and that those assets need to be protected. At the same time it is important to point out that anything that is made or acquired from the date of the marriage whilst you are a couple will be shared. It may be prudent to encourage your future spouse to have their own pre-nuptial drawn up in the spirit of being fair and equitable.
The downside of pre-nuptials is that they bring up the possibility of divorce before you are even married. This can put doubt in the mind and a feeling of perhaps bringing misfortune on the impending marriage. At a time when romance and excitement ought to be the order of the day, it can be a real dampener.
However you decide to handle it, it is worth remembering that pre-nuptial agreements are a sensitive issue. What makes good financial sense to you may be seen as a slap in the face by your prospective marriage partner. If things are communicated well right from the start, everything will proceed smoothly in the lead up to the marriage and hopefully beyond.
 
Sue Taylor has written several articles about relationships. Refer to her websites http://www.thedivorcesite.info and http://www.marriagecounselingnews.net

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